Scripture:

Psalm 13

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

¹ O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
² How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?³ Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
⁴ Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.

Observation:

Read this.  Really read this.  Read it from your own perspective.  Read it as you were crying out to God and these were your own words.  Now tell me that the writer of these words was not depressed; did not feel absolute despair; did not feel as if God was taking a trip to Hawaii and left him to deal with his problems on his own.  Tell me that because he felt this way, he lacked faith.  David, the author of this outcry, was a man after God’s own heart.  He was a man of faith, yet he suffered greatly from depression.   As a matter of fact, if you really study the Bible, you will see that most great people of faith suffered from depression or anxiety at some point in their lives.  So why then, do so many “Christian” people and organization perpetrate the lie that it is because of LACK of faith?  I myself have been told that God has healed me and then when I continue to have symptoms, it is because I lack faith or because there is unresolved sin in my life.  That’s BULLSHIT, and a very destructive lie directly from the enemy.  Did David lack faith when he said, “BUT I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice [despite the fact that I feel horrible and I can't feel Your presence anywhere in this universe] because you have rescued me.”  He goes so far as to “sing to the Lord” in the midst of his pain and anguish.  How can it be a LACK of faith to believe God is good, even when you don’t FEEL Him?  David hadn’t felt the goodness of God in his life “forever”!

Application:

This verse has been very close to me for many years.  It has been a comfort to know that I am not alone.  I have cried these words and felt this kind of despair for so long, it really does feel like “forever”.  I have cried out to God these same words (stronger, even) and not heard of felt a thing.

I recently went to a conference on depression called, “Breakthrough: Journey out of Depression”.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety since adolescence and have read many books by Christian and secular authors.  This was the best I have ever seen of combining the Physical and Spiritual together.  I have always believed we are 100% spiritual beings AND 100% physical beings and there is no way to separate the two.   Luckily, I am on the mend and I feel better than I have felt for many years, but I continue to study and learn.  I am continuing to arm myself with tools that will help me if/when I struggle again.  Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. and Gregory M. Knopf, M.D., who put on the conference, have the best tool out there.  I strongly recommend their book, “Light on the Fringe” to anyone who has depression, who knows someone with it, or who works with people who have it.  It is the one tool I have that makes sense from a medical view as well as a spiritual view.

Please visit their website www.depressionoutreach.com It has some wonderful tools, their book, and a great video on how the brain works.  There are many psychologists and doctors who believe the way they do.  I have been seeing two of them for the past 5 years, and I am very grateful to them.  It was a pleasant surprise to see the clinic they work at listed in the appendix of the study guide!

Prayer:

Father, thank-you so much for bringing hope into our lives.  Thank-you for giving us tools to live a life of righteousness and faith, even when we don’t feel it.  Thank-you for people like Drs. Lovejoy and Knopf, who listen to You and share what You have taught them.  I pray that people who suffer from depression will find Your light and Your joy as I have, and not guilt that will drive them deeper into despair.  Thank-You for loving us so much.

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You are standing in the dark.  Under your feet you feel solid ground, but as you put your hand forward to see if there is something near you, you feel nothing.  You cannot even see your hand as it strains and gropes while you slowly pivot with your feet.  You can feel nothing.  What are you to do?  You panic.  You are alone.  Where are the walls?  What will happen if you walk forward?  Will you fall into a deep chasm or a bog and be lost forever?  What will you eat?  How will you find water?  Your heart pounds as the panic increases.  Your mind is full of unanswered questions.  Suddenly you hear a still, small voice out in the darkness, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.”  You take a deep breath and begin singing “Jesus loves me this I know. . .” That is what you know.  That is the only thing you are sure of at this point.  You sing and sing and your heart begins to make up it’s own words as you praise God, the creator of the universe, and His Son, the one who died for you.  As the peace that passes all understanding begins to cover your heart, you do not feel alone anymore.  You see a small light ahead of you and you walk towards it.  You see that there is solid ground near the light.  As you draw closer, the light moves ahead just enough to light a small path for you.  You begin to see hills, and grass, and trees with fruit on them.  The light slows and you eat and drink from a stream that is flowing nearby.  You feel safe here and stop for a rest.  After a time the light dims again and appears to be asking you to follow it towards the darkness.  You hesitate.  You are comfortable here.  You have what you need.  You do not want to go out into the unknown again.  You decide to stay.  The light is gone now, but you remember where the tree is and where the water is.  You are safe.  As long as you stay right where you know, you will not get lost or fall.  As time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to find the fruit, and what you do find is not satisfying.  It is under or over ripe.  The water is trickling now and tastes of bitter metal.  You become uneasy.  You no longer feel safe.  What are you going to do?  The panic begins to rise in you again.  You remember the light and want it to return.  You scream at the light and wonder why it left you.  You plead with it to come back.  You bargain with it and say you will never leave it again.  You cry and say you are sorry you didn’t follow.  It does not return.  There is a storm.  The wind blows harshly, the rain falls.  The stream becomes a river that is pushing you away from the solid ground you are familiar with.  The tree crashes down in the wind.  Everything you once knew is no longer stable.  You are alone again, and lost.  Then, as you are crying and all hope is lost, you remember the voice you once heard, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.”  You begin to pray.  You feel bad that you did not follow the light.  You don’t know if the light will return because you abandoned it for your own comfort.   You know that if it doesn’t com back, you deserve to stay where you are and die.  You begin to see a faint glow in the distance.  Through your sobs, you hear and even softer and quieter voice than before, “You may have left me, but I will never leave you.  I am always with you, even if you choose not to follow My light.  Even if you choose to stay in the darkness, I am there.”  The glow gets lighter and you see that it is showing you a new path.  One you did not see the last time the light was with you.  You follow it.  As before, you can only see what is directly in front of you for many paces.  But you follow.  You don’t know if there will be water and fruit ahead, but you follow because it is better than where you were.  You follow.  The light, which has been a soft glow, pauses and becomes as bright as a sun.  You drop to the ground and cover your eyes.  When you feel you can, you slowly look around you.  Ahead of you, in the distance, you see a glorious city where there the light is bright all the time.  You see people like yourself eating from fruit trees which are larger and more glorious than your little tree you used to have.  The people are singing and dancing and angels are floating around with joy emanating from their very being.  There is a river that looks as if it will never go dry.  You see Jesus, sitting on His throne beside Your Heavenly Father, the Creator of it all.  Then you see Jesus walking among the people; laughing and singing together.  They are playing games and telling each other stories.  Jesus looks at you and waves.  You run to Him.  You want to be where those people are.  You want to sing and play with Jesus.  Your heart bursts at the thought of it.  As you run, you feet become heavy and you look down.  In front of you there is emptiness.  You are desperate to find a way.  You look and look.  The light is still bright around you, but it begins to dim in all areas but one far off place.  It is AWAY from Jesus.  You don’t want to go that way.  The light is AWAY from Jesus!  The words spin in your head and you cannot seem to push them away.  The light is AWAY from Jesus!  As the light around the city is dimming, you see Jesus pointing to the light.  You hear him whisper and even though He is far away, the voice is close in your ear, “I Am that Light.  The road to this city is narrow and full of danger, but if you follow the Light, it will lead you here.  And remember, I am always with you.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply.  When you open your eyes, the city is gone.  Jesus is gone.  Wait, you feel Him near you.  As you slowly turn toward that light that was leading you away from the city, you feel Him more.  He is that Light.  You know it now, but you grieve for the vision you have lost.  The funnel has again been placed around you sight and you can only see the path illuminated ahead of you.  You have a new excitement, a new love for the Light.  You know where it is leading you and you are excited to get going.  You follow the light, not even looking to your right or left.  You know if you follow the light, you will find the city, you will be with Jesus!  The path is clear and clean and well illuminated.  You are enjoying the journey.  The vision of Jesus is close in your mind and it is feeding you along the way.  He is your sustenance.  He is your Joy.

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Scripture

¹⁵ When this offering is given to the Lord to purify your lives, making you right with him, the rich must not give more than the specified amount, and the poor must not give less. (Ex 30:15)

Observation

I continue to find it awesome that even before Israel was a nation, the rules God set for them all pointed to Jesus.  In this passage, He was talking of a silver coin to be given in ransom for their lives; in order to make them right with Him.  But it was a flat fee.  It didn’t matter how rich or how poor, the fee was the same.

Application

When Jesus fulfilled the law, he became the “silver coin” (along with a bunch of other metaphors).  He became the flat fee entrance to God.  It doesn’t matter how rich or how poor we are; if we’ve sinned greatly or minimally.  We can’t do more to make our spot “secure” and we can’t do any less.  Jesus is all we need.

That doesn’t mean we don’t strive to do more, it just means our entrance fee is paid for.

Prayer

Thank-you, God for planning our world way at the very beginning.  You knew what you were doing and even though it appears to be all “going to hell in a hand basket” You are in control.  Thank-you, Jesus for paying our entrance fee, even though it cost so much more than a silver coin.

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Scripture

³¹ “So I tell you, every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven—except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which will never be forgiven. (Mat 12:31)

The Story of Ananias and Sapphira

¹ But there was a certain man named Ananias who, with his wife, Sapphira, sold some property. ² He brought part of the money to the apostles, claiming it was the full amount. With his wife’s consent, he kept the rest.

³ Then Peter said, “Ananias, why have you let Satan fill your heart? You lied to the Holy Spirit, and you kept some of the money for yourself. ⁴ The property was yours to sell or not sell, as you wished. And after selling it, the money was also yours to give away. How could you do a thing like this? You weren’t lying to us but to God!”

⁵ As soon as Ananias heard these words, he fell to the floor and died. Everyone who heard about it was terrified. ⁶ Then some young men got up, wrapped him in a sheet, and took him out and buried him.

⁷ About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. ⁸ Peter asked her, “Was this the price you and your husband received for your land?”

“Yes,” she replied, “that was the price.”

⁹ And Peter said, “How could the two of you even think of conspiring to test the Spirit of the Lord like this? The young men who buried your husband are just outside the door, and they will carry you out, too.”

¹⁰ Instantly, she fell to the floor and died. When the young men came in and saw that she was dead, they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. ¹¹ Great fear gripped the entire church and everyone else who heard what had happened. (Acts 5:1-11)

Observation

As Christians, this passage can be very disconcerting.  Why would God, who is merciful and loving, strike these two people dead without even an opportunity to ask for forgiveness?  What was their sin?  Did they die because they didn’t give everything to God?  No, they died because they LIED to the Holy Spirit.  They knowingly conspired to lie.  It was not an accident.  “With his wife’s consent” leads us to believe that they had discussed this prior to taking the money to the Apostles.

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all spoke of the unpardonable sin in such a way that indicates they knew what it was.  They didn’t need to elaborate or explain; they just simply stated it as fact.  I believe Ananias and Sapphira knew exactly what they were doing and went ahead and gambled on their lives.  Their sin was in trying to take for themselves the glory that was due to the Holy Spirit.  This is blasphemy.

Application

How does this apply to our lives today?   Let’s say a coworker performed some heroic action and I took credit for it.  I did not specifically say anything negative or demeaning about  my coworker, and I continued to be her friend; but in taking credit for her actions, I got the glory for what she did.  What if that action led to a promotion?  Did I deserve that promotion?  No, the other nurse did.  I injured her good name and her future purposefully and knowingly.  This is a form of blasphemy.  This is what Ananias and Sapphira did to the Holy Spirit; they tried to take credit for themselves.

Blasphemy is still a sin, no matter who it is against.  To take credit for someone else’ work is punishable by law in most parts of the world.  It is a big deal.  I don’t believe you can do it without knowing it.  You can not take credit for something on accident.  In my example above, I either did or  didn’t perform a heroic act.  Peter’s question to Sapphira “was this the price of the land” is a yes or no question.  There is no wondering “did I just blaspheme the Holy Spirit?”  This is black or white; yes or no; there is no gray.  If you find yourself afraid of committing the unpardonable sin, then you haven’t done it.  You will know.

Prayer

Lord God, I don’t even pretend to know all about You.  You are so far above my thoughts.  But thank-you for speaking to me through Your word.  Thank-you for giving me the assurance that through Jesus I am assured of forgiveness for all the sins I am capable of doing.  If I should ever be tempted to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, I am confident that because You live in me, I will know exactly what is at stake.  I can never accidentally hurt You.    Help me to also overcome any temptation I my have to hurt those around me by taking credit for their actions.

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