We were at the barn the other day and Seth wanted to ride Emma. He had been acting hyper most of the evening and when he looked at me he had that wild-eyed, out of control look that I have come to recognize. It’s the look that says, “you can say what you want, but there is no where in my brain that it will process, so it won’t make a difference.” Emma was already wild-eyed herself after giving 4 other kids rides. She was a little out of her comfort zone. Wanting to divert a potential deadly disaster, I told Seth he could not ride, but he could lead Emma around if he wanted. What I saw was absolutely amazing.
Boy and horse walked away from me. Seth had the lead rope tightly gripped in his hands, he was stiff and jerky. Emma’s head was high and she was looking around with whites showing in her eyes. She was prancy and twitchy. They both had a fight/flight air about them. As they walked, Emma’s posture slowly relaxed. She dropped her head so her ears were below Seth’s shoulder and began licking and chewing. Her ears drooped and her feet dragged. She became as docile as a 30 y/o kids pony. At the same time, I saw the tension slowly leave my son. The rope loosened in his hand and his shoulders slouched. When he had circled around I looked into his face. The wild-eyes were gone. This is not the first time this has happened.
I told this story to a friend who also had similar problems as Seth in his boyhood. He said that Seth is out of control and knows he’s out of control. He can’t control his own thoughts and is therefore unable to control his behavior. The feeling of complete loss of control is totally overwhelming. When he walked Emma, he was controlling a huge creature. He was put back in control. He was given power to control a force outside of himself and therefore was able to control the wildness inside. I like this explanation. I am very thankful that God creates a link between Himself and us through His creation.
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