Caprigalli Haven » faith

The Journey

Sheryl R. Helms — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:10:25 +0000

You are standing in the dark. Under your feet you feel solid ground, but as you put your hand forward to see if there is something near you, you feel nothing. You cannot even see your hand as it strains and gropes while you slowly pivot with your feet. You can feel nothing. What are you to do? You panic. You are alone. Where are the walls? What will happen if you walk forward? Will you fall into a deep chasm or a bog and be lost forever? What will you eat? How will you find water? Your heart pounds as the panic increases. Your mind is full of unanswered questions. Suddenly you hear a still, small voice out in the darkness, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.” You take a deep breath and begin singing “Jesus loves me this I know. . .” That is what you know. That is the only thing you are sure of at this point. You sing and sing and your heart begins to make up it’s own words as you praise God, the creator of the universe, and His Son, the one who died for you. As the peace that passes all understanding begins to cover your heart, you do not feel alone anymore. You see a small light ahead of you and you walk towards it. You see that there is solid ground near the light. As you draw closer, the light moves ahead just enough to light a small path for you. You begin to see hills, and grass, and trees with fruit on them. The light slows and you eat and drink from a stream that is flowing nearby. You feel safe here and stop for a rest. After a time the light dims again and appears to be asking you to follow it towards the darkness. You hesitate. You are comfortable here. You have what you need. You do not want to go out into the unknown again. You decide to stay. The light is gone now, but you remember where the tree is and where the water is. You are safe. As long as you stay right where you know, you will not get lost or fall. As time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to find the fruit, and what you do find is not satisfying. It is under or over ripe. The water is trickling now and tastes of bitter metal. You become uneasy. You no longer feel safe. What are you going to do? The panic begins to rise in you again. You remember the light and want it to return. You scream at the light and wonder why it left you. You plead with it to come back. You bargain with it and say you will never leave it again. You cry and say you are sorry you didn’t follow. It does not return. There is a storm. The wind blows harshly, the rain falls. The stream becomes a river that is pushing you away from the solid ground you are familiar with. The tree crashes down in the wind. Everything you once knew is no longer stable. You are alone again, and lost. Then, as you are crying and all hope is lost, you remember the voice you once heard, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.” You begin to pray. You feel bad that you did not follow the light. You don’t know if the light will return because you abandoned it for your own comfort. You know that if it doesn’t com back, you deserve to stay where you are and die. You begin to see a faint glow in the distance. Through your sobs, you hear and even softer and quieter voice than before, “You may have left me, but I will never leave you. I am always with you, even if you choose not to follow My light. Even if you choose to stay in the darkness, I am there.” The glow gets lighter and you see that it is showing you a new path. One you did not see the last time the light was with you. You follow it. As before, you can only see what is directly in front of you for many paces. But you follow. You don’t know if there will be water and fruit ahead, but you follow because it is better than where you were. You follow. The light, which has been a soft glow, pauses and becomes as bright as a sun. You drop to the ground and cover your eyes. When you feel you can, you slowly look around you. Ahead of you, in the distance, you see a glorious city where there the light is bright all the time. You see people like yourself eating from fruit trees which are larger and more glorious than your little tree you used to have. The people are singing and dancing and angels are floating around with joy emanating from their very being. There is a river that looks as if it will never go dry. You see Jesus, sitting on His throne beside Your Heavenly Father, the Creator of it all. Then you see Jesus walking among the people; laughing and singing together. They are playing games and telling each other stories. Jesus looks at you and waves. You run to Him. You want to be where those people are. You want to sing and play with Jesus. Your heart bursts at the thought of it. As you run, you feet become heavy and you look down. In front of you there is emptiness. You are desperate to find a way. You look and look. The light is still bright around you, but it begins to dim in all areas but one far off place. It is AWAY from Jesus. You don’t want to go that way. The light is AWAY from Jesus! The words spin in your head and you cannot seem to push them away. The light is AWAY from Jesus! As the light around the city is dimming, you see Jesus pointing to the light. You hear him whisper and even though He is far away, the voice is close in your ear, “I Am that Light. The road to this city is narrow and full of danger, but if you follow the Light, it will lead you here. And remember, I am always with you.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply. When you open your eyes, the city is gone. Jesus is gone. Wait, you feel Him near you. As you slowly turn toward that light that was leading you away from the city, you feel Him more. He is that Light. You know it now, but you grieve for the vision you have lost. The funnel has again been placed around you sight and you can only see the path illuminated ahead of you. You have a new excitement, a new love for the Light. You know where it is leading you and you are excited to get going. You follow the light, not even looking to your right or left. You know if you follow the light, you will find the city, you will be with Jesus! The path is clear and clean and well illuminated. You are enjoying the journey. The vision of Jesus is close in your mind and it is feeding you along the way. He is your sustenance. He is your Joy.

Living Through Pain (part 2)

Sheryl R. Helms — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:28:07 +0000

Recently my church had a series called “When Life Hurts Most” that really expounded on my previous post about living through pain. Many people commented about that post through personal e-mail and shared their own experiences with me, so I would like to add what I learned from our recent series. (Incidentally, I love hearing your comments and stories and if you don’t feel comfortable posting it on my site just say “great post” or some such under the comment section and then send me a personal e-mail. That way it will actually look like people read this stuff!)

In my previous post, I stated that FAITH is being able to grab a hold of what you can’t feel, but you know is there. To add to that, FAITH is continuing to live your life even though there are unanswered questions. The book of Job was the first book of the Bible written. Why? It is a book filled with unanswered questions. It is a frustrating book, because in my mind, Job asks some very good questions. Most of them boil down to “Why, Lord, are you allowing me to suffer?” That is really the universal question. If God is so good, why is there still pain? Why do I have to live with depression? Why do I have days that it is a struggle to get out of bed? Why do some people that drink and smoke their whole life have no health problems when my patient who loves You very much has to suffer through cancer? Why do young children die? Why is there starvation in the world? WHY, WHY, Why? Add you own list of why’s. We all have them. Of all people, Job definitely had a right to ask why. He was an upright man who even God said of him, “Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.” (Job 1:8) Job suffered as much as any person, except Jesus, has ever suffered. I think he had a right to ask why. Did God answer his question? Did God tell him why he was suffering? No, He did not. When I read through Job the first time and came to the heading, “God Answers Job“, I became excited. Finally, answers to the universal question! God is going to tell me why we suffer! But to my great disappointment, God answered with a series of questions of His own. “Where were you when I created the earth? Did you command the morning to appear? Can you make it rain? Can you count the clouds? Can you make lightning appear? Did you create the creatures of the earth?” These are rhetorical questions in which God says “I AM WHO I AM and that is all you need to know.” What was Job’s response? “I am nothing, how could I ever find the answers? I have said too much already. I have nothing more to say.” (Job 40:4-5) Job was left with unanswered question to why he was suffering. But, he was left with the knowledge of God, and that was all he needed.

Christian Reger, a Dachau Survivor, had this to say about his suffering: “Nietzhe said a man can undergo torture if he knows the why of his life, but I, here at Dachau, learned something far greater. I learned to know the Who of my life. He was enough to sustain me then, and he is enough to sustain me still.”

Paul was given a “thorn in his flesh” to remind him that it is not about WHY, but about WHO. “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Cor 12:6-9) I don’t believe we are told what Paul’s thorn was because we are all given a “thorn” to keep us from becoming proud and to remind us that God is all we need.

So again: to me FAITH is living my life even though it appears to be defined by my pain; continuing on with my responsibilities when I feel I have been let down by God; waking up each morining and knowing God is with me even though I can’t feel Him; trusting in Him even though it appears hopeless; praying to Him even though I’ve prayed the same thing a million times before. FAITH is LIVING THROUGH THE PAIN EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE UNASWERED QUESTIONS.

August 5, 2008

Sheryl R. Helms — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 02:11:38 +0000

Daily Reading:

2 Kings 23
2 Chronicles 35
John 7

Godly parents, evil children

Scripture

“Never before had there been a king like Josiah, who turned to the Lord with all his heart and soul and strength, obeying all the laws of Moses. And there has never been a king like him since.” 2 Kings 23:25 “Jehoahaz [the son of Josiah, who succeeded him to the throne] did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, just as his ancestors had done.” 2 Kings 23:31-32

Observation

Josiah was such a great king. He completely and utterly got rid of every form of idolatry. He restored the passover. God promised him that because of his faithfulness, He would not destroy Judah until Josiah died. Why do great and Godly kings have children that are evil? Didn’t the Bible say to “direct your children onto the right path and when they are older they will not leave it”? Proverbs 22:6 It makes me wonder if the kings were actively involved in raising their children. Lots of very Godly people have rebellious children.

Application

It’s not enough to just be a Godly person. “Direct” or “train” or “raise” are action words. They require more than just a passive belief that because we love God, so will our children. We should not leave the teaching up to others either, although there is a place for that. It is our duty to God and our children to practice our faith, explain to our children what we are doing and why, and to live our lives to the best of our ability the way we want our children to live theirs (ie. practice what we preach). Thankfully, God is full of grace and will fill in where we make mistakes, but mistakes are only made when we are active.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, help me to actively train my children about you. Help me to take responsibility for their spiritual health while they are young. Help me to live my life in just the way I want my kids to live theirs. Thank-you for your grace. Thank-you for filling in the gap where I fail.