Caprigalli Haven » fear http://caprigalli.com My life as a Christian, wife, mom, nurse, animal lover, gardener and any other hats that fit me at the time. Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:33:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 en hourly 1 The Journey http://caprigalli.com/the-journey/483/ http://caprigalli.com/the-journey/483/#comments Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:10:25 +0000 Sheryl R. Helms http://caprigalli.com/?p=483 You are standing in the dark.  Under your feet you feel solid ground, but as you put your hand forward to see if there is something near you, you feel nothing.  You cannot even see your hand as it strains and gropes while you slowly pivot with your feet.  You can feel nothing.  What are you to do?  You panic.  You are alone.  Where are the walls?  What will happen if you walk forward?  Will you fall into a deep chasm or a bog and be lost forever?  What will you eat?  How will you find water?  Your heart pounds as the panic increases.  Your mind is full of unanswered questions.  Suddenly you hear a still, small voice out in the darkness, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.”  You take a deep breath and begin singing “Jesus loves me this I know. . .” That is what you know.  That is the only thing you are sure of at this point.  You sing and sing and your heart begins to make up it’s own words as you praise God, the creator of the universe, and His Son, the one who died for you.  As the peace that passes all understanding begins to cover your heart, you do not feel alone anymore.  You see a small light ahead of you and you walk towards it.  You see that there is solid ground near the light.  As you draw closer, the light moves ahead just enough to light a small path for you.  You begin to see hills, and grass, and trees with fruit on them.  The light slows and you eat and drink from a stream that is flowing nearby.  You feel safe here and stop for a rest.  After a time the light dims again and appears to be asking you to follow it towards the darkness.  You hesitate.  You are comfortable here.  You have what you need.  You do not want to go out into the unknown again.  You decide to stay.  The light is gone now, but you remember where the tree is and where the water is.  You are safe.  As long as you stay right where you know, you will not get lost or fall.  As time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to find the fruit, and what you do find is not satisfying.  It is under or over ripe.  The water is trickling now and tastes of bitter metal.  You become uneasy.  You no longer feel safe.  What are you going to do?  The panic begins to rise in you again.  You remember the light and want it to return.  You scream at the light and wonder why it left you.  You plead with it to come back.  You bargain with it and say you will never leave it again.  You cry and say you are sorry you didn’t follow.  It does not return.  There is a storm.  The wind blows harshly, the rain falls.  The stream becomes a river that is pushing you away from the solid ground you are familiar with.  The tree crashes down in the wind.  Everything you once knew is no longer stable.  You are alone again, and lost.  Then, as you are crying and all hope is lost, you remember the voice you once heard, “Praise Me even when you cannot see me.”  You begin to pray.  You feel bad that you did not follow the light.  You don’t know if the light will return because you abandoned it for your own comfort.   You know that if it doesn’t com back, you deserve to stay where you are and die.  You begin to see a faint glow in the distance.  Through your sobs, you hear and even softer and quieter voice than before, “You may have left me, but I will never leave you.  I am always with you, even if you choose not to follow My light.  Even if you choose to stay in the darkness, I am there.”  The glow gets lighter and you see that it is showing you a new path.  One you did not see the last time the light was with you.  You follow it.  As before, you can only see what is directly in front of you for many paces.  But you follow.  You don’t know if there will be water and fruit ahead, but you follow because it is better than where you were.  You follow.  The light, which has been a soft glow, pauses and becomes as bright as a sun.  You drop to the ground and cover your eyes.  When you feel you can, you slowly look around you.  Ahead of you, in the distance, you see a glorious city where there the light is bright all the time.  You see people like yourself eating from fruit trees which are larger and more glorious than your little tree you used to have.  The people are singing and dancing and angels are floating around with joy emanating from their very being.  There is a river that looks as if it will never go dry.  You see Jesus, sitting on His throne beside Your Heavenly Father, the Creator of it all.  Then you see Jesus walking among the people; laughing and singing together.  They are playing games and telling each other stories.  Jesus looks at you and waves.  You run to Him.  You want to be where those people are.  You want to sing and play with Jesus.  Your heart bursts at the thought of it.  As you run, you feet become heavy and you look down.  In front of you there is emptiness.  You are desperate to find a way.  You look and look.  The light is still bright around you, but it begins to dim in all areas but one far off place.  It is AWAY from Jesus.  You don’t want to go that way.  The light is AWAY from Jesus!  The words spin in your head and you cannot seem to push them away.  The light is AWAY from Jesus!  As the light around the city is dimming, you see Jesus pointing to the light.  You hear him whisper and even though He is far away, the voice is close in your ear, “I Am that Light.  The road to this city is narrow and full of danger, but if you follow the Light, it will lead you here.  And remember, I am always with you.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply.  When you open your eyes, the city is gone.  Jesus is gone.  Wait, you feel Him near you.  As you slowly turn toward that light that was leading you away from the city, you feel Him more.  He is that Light.  You know it now, but you grieve for the vision you have lost.  The funnel has again been placed around you sight and you can only see the path illuminated ahead of you.  You have a new excitement, a new love for the Light.  You know where it is leading you and you are excited to get going.  You follow the light, not even looking to your right or left.  You know if you follow the light, you will find the city, you will be with Jesus!  The path is clear and clean and well illuminated.  You are enjoying the journey.  The vision of Jesus is close in your mind and it is feeding you along the way.  He is your sustenance.  He is your Joy.

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